“You look great to have had a child.”
“You look great to have two kids”
“You look great to have twins.”
I can’t even begin to count the times that I have heard these statements. We have all probably been guilty of making them from time to time. I understand these are meant to be compliments. But they’re not…
Why is it not good enough to just say “You look great.”? Why do we have to point out the fact that you have given birth as well? Do our bodies compare differently than those of women who have not carried a child? Or, are we in such different categories that our bodies no longer compare to those of women who have not carried a child?
What you say: “You look great to have had twins” 🙂
What I hear: “You look great considering that you have twins.”
This one statement can get a new moms mind going in so many directions. Do I really not look good and they are just being nice? Do I look bad but the fact that I had twins makes it okay? Does the fact that I now have loose skin and stretch marks on my stomach mean that I will never be considered to look as good as I once did?
Us moms know that a pregnancy changes our body in irreversible ways. We also know that most of us at at least one point since having children have compared our pre and post-baby bodies. We are hard enough on ourselves without someone else pointing out how much our bodies have changed. So next time you tell a mom that she looks good, please just say you look great. Then stop.