One of the big things about Ryder and Arayas birthday party this year is that we are asking for NO presents please. This Idea was introduced to me by a friend over at http://lovinglifessimplicities.com/ and after some quick thinking I completely agreed. I had searched for how to do this for the past couple of years but couldn’t quite figure out how to politely ask them bring either specific items or nothing.
1. You see we live in small trailer with very little room for too many toys and clothes. The kids room is a very small room that they share and it has to have all of their toys and all of their clothes in there too. They don’t play with most of the toys they have and we really just didn’t have room for any more toys. Besides, most toys end up getting broke or lost within a week so why have people spend money on small toys that will end up in the trash before they are ever really enjoyed.
2. There are birthday parties almost weekly it seems. That is A LOT of presents to buy and a lot of money to spend. I skipped many birthday parties because I couldn’t get a present and didn’t want to go without one. I don’t want anyone to feel like they can’t come to our parties because they can’t get a present that they really don’t need. I just want everyone to come and celebrate Ryder and Arayas birthday with us.
3.We have made it clear that for anyone who WANTS to bring a gift can bring money and we will use it to take the kids to the zoo or the train museum or both and/or maybe buy them a trampoline. Carl and I thought this would be a good compromise so no one felt obligated to bring anything and we can take them on a trip that will be fun and memorable but not take up room in our house or one large toy that will last for years.
“You look great to have had a child.”
“You look great to have two kids”
“You look great to have twins.”
I can’t even begin to count the times that I have heard these statements. We have all probably been guilty of making them from time to time. I understand these are meant to be compliments. But they’re not…
Why is it not good enough to just say “You look great.”? Why do we have to point out the fact that you have given birth as well? Do our bodies compare differently than those of women who have not carried a child? Or, are we in such different categories that our bodies no longer compare to those of women who have not carried a child?
What you say: “You look great to have had twins” 🙂
What I hear: “You look great considering that you have twins.”
This one statement can get a new moms mind going in so many directions. Do I really not look good and they are just being nice? Do I look bad but the fact that I had twins makes it okay? Does the fact that I now have loose skin and stretch marks on my stomach mean that I will never be considered to look as good as I once did?
Us moms know that a pregnancy changes our body in irreversible ways. We also know that most of us at at least one point since having children have compared our pre and post-baby bodies. We are hard enough on ourselves without someone else pointing out how much our bodies have changed. So next time you tell a mom that she looks good, please just say you look great. Then stop.
At Kmart today with my mom. Mom has Ryder on one isle while I have Araya on the next.
Ryder: “Where’s sissy”
Mom: ” I don’t know. Holler for her and I’m sure she will answer.”
Ryder: (yelling) “Sissssyyyy……… Where arrree yooouuuu?”
Araya: (yelling) “Wight here. Pushin buggy. Lookin at curtains. Come heere”